Home for ParentsHome for EducatorsHome for Group Leaders
Products & ServicesAbout UsContact UsMedia
Success StoriesSpeakingBook Reviews   A Way Through Blog - Article Archives

We promise your information won't be
given, rented, or sold to anyone else.

Find A Way Through on Facebook    Watch A Way Through on YouTube    Follow A Way Through on Twitter


Do you feel unequipped to help your daughter or students navigate painful friendships?

Finally, the Instruction Manual You Need to Help Your Kindergarten – Grade 8 Daughter or Students Find Their Way Through Painful Friendships

Listen to the program introduction here.

When Girls Hurt Girls® is a home practice guide for parents who want to help their hurting daughters, but don’t know where to start. It's also PERFECT for use in school or small group settings.

Through loving discussions and role-play exercises, your daughter or students will connect with their personal power and gain the confidence to resolve conflicts and attract the right kind of friendships to their lives.

From: Jane Balvanz and Blair Wagner, the Female Friendship Experts

Dear Concerned Parent,

When your daughter comes home from school in tears, you just want to stop her hurting.

But when it’s her “friends” causing the tears, no amount of consoling from you can make the pain go away.

Relational Aggression (RA). Emotional Bullying. Female Bullying.

There are a lot of names for what your daughter is going through – but not nearly enough resources out there to help you deal with it.

That’s exactly why we developed When Girls Hurt Girls®. It evolved from the hundreds of girls’ tearful stories Jane heard over the years in school, and it started with Blair’s daughter, Libby…

“I’m Going to Pray for God to Take Me Away.”

Imagine the heartbreak and fear Blair felt when Libby told her one night that she was going to pray for God to take her away. They’re words a mother never wants to hear from her daughter.

Libby was in 3rd grade at the time, and some of her friends had taken to excluding her and giving her the silent treatment for no apparent reason.

Not knowing what else to do, Libby spent much of her time at school crying in the hallway, alone.

Blair felt powerless. She vowed to figure out how to help her daughter – and to share what she learned with other parents and daughters struggling with Relational Aggression.

Because Your Daughter Didn’t Come With
a Manual for Times Like This

No wonder you’re feeling lost and confused. How are you supposed to know if your daughter’s situation is as serious as Libby’s or just a case of inconsequential tiffs?

Here’s an easy test. If your daughter is showing any of the following signs, there’s a good chance you’ve got a case of Relational Aggression on your hands:

  • Your daughter appears more fragile – often crying when she comes home from school, before she goes to bed at night, or in the morning before school.
  • She openly complains about being picked on or ignored by other girls.
  • She’s not able to concentrate in school or on homework and her grades end up suffering.
  • You notice changes in her mood and behavior. (She just doesn’t seem like the same playful, happy child she used to be.)
  • She fakes an illness to avoid going to school.
  • She’s not spending time with friends like she used to.

It can be devastating for a parent to see her child hurting this way. And even more devastating not to know what to do about it.

As much as you’d love to somehow fix it for her, you know the best thing you can do is teach her the skills to handle it on her own.

Nurturing your daughter’s self-sufficiency and independence at a young age will help her grow into a confident woman with a strong sense of personal power – one who gets along with others but knows when it’s time to respectfully stand up for herself.

Isn’t that a parent’s dream come true?

Winner of The National Parenting Center's 2011 Seal of Approval

I found the When Girls Hurt Girls® Parent Pack through AWayThrough.com, and I appreciate the wonderful advice it has given my daughter and me!

I spent many sleepless nights worrying about my daughter. The other 5 th grade girls were tripping her and excluding her from playing with them at recess.

I got wrapped up in her friendship problem and searched for a way to help. I purchased the When Girls Hurt Girls Parent Pack online. The materials were easy to understand and use for both of us!

Now, I am able to coach my daughter how to handle specific friendship problems. I love the positive approach that helps my daughter focus on what’s possible — not on the negative. It is amazing to see her focus on what she wants.

After using the included Girl Guide, my daughter learned when and how to ignore female bullying. Now, she tunes it out! My daughter says she is confident in ANY situation with other girls because the Girl Guide gives her specific words and actions to use.

As a result, my daughter has become friends with girls who don’t stir the pot. She regained her confidence and even got the lead in the school play!

Your materials provide a wonderful service. Thank you!

Demaris Dugan
Registered Nurse
Carmel, Indiana

When Girls Hurt Girls® Has the Instructions
You’ve Been Looking For to Help Your Daughter Heal

Back to Blair and her daughter Libby…you should know the story has a happy ending. Today, Libby is a happy and thriving 8th grader who only surrounds herself with friendships that feel good.

Which brings us to the other half of the A Way Through™ partnership…

As a mother of three, an educator for over 25 years and a certified K-12 school counselor, Jane has helped hundreds of girls develop their personal power and resolve Relational Aggression situations.

Our paths crossed at a study group Jane facilitated on Relational Aggression books. We bonded over a passion to give parents the tools to coach struggling daughters. When Girls Hurt Girls® was conceived.

We are not an anti-bullying program. Rather, we view hurtful friendships as a perfect opportunity for girls to become clear about who they are and what they want in their friendships. We acknowledge that bullying happens. Our goal is to empower girls to build their personal power to solve friendship problems.

Our solution to Relational Aggression is based on the Law of Attraction: I attract to myself whatever I give my attention, energy, and focus to, whether wanted or unwanted.

When Girls Hurt Girls® encourages your daughter to identify the kinds of friendships she wants and provides tools for her to attract them. It also teaches you to be a behind-the-scenes partner who only steps in when necessary.

"I didn't know how to help my children because I was so crushed. I think I suffered even more than my girls did.

You created a comfort zone. Now I step back, review it, and know we'll get through it...My daughter has re-friended all of these girls."

Cathy Fairfield, Mother of 5 girls
Coralville, Iowa

Now She’ll Believe You When You
Say, “Everything Will Be OK”

 There are so many good things that come out of working through When Girls Hurt Girls® with your daughter. The relief alone that you’ll feel when you see her smiling again is indescribable. More than that…

  • Building your daughter’s confidence and self awareness now sets her up for a lifetime of not being “held hostage” in destructive relationships with future friends, partners, colleagues or anyone else who doesn’t treat her with respect.
  • When your daughter knows what positive and negative friendships look and feel like, she’ll know when a relationship is worth pursuing and when it’s better to go separate ways. That means she’ll stick with a “good crowd” who support each other through their girlhood journey.
  • By gently coaching your daughter instead of jumping in and fixing the situation yourself, you’re giving her the opportunity to try different approaches, make mistakes and learn to solve problems on her own. It’s arguably the best gift you could ever give her.
  • You’re keeping the lines of communication open between you and your daughter and setting precedence for her to come to you whenever she’s having a hard time. As she gets older and her challenges tougher, don’t you want to be the one she asks for advice?
  • In addition to helping your daughter get out of her current hurtful friendship situation, you’re teaching her how to be a good friend to others and to stand up to bullying even when she’s not the direct target.
  • You’re helping your daughter change her focus from being scared or sad about a painful friendship to spending her time learning in school and growing as a person. Her new focus on positive activities will attract even more positive things to her life.
  • You’ll feel better, too! You can rest a little easier knowing she has good friends and makes good decisions.

Given the many benefits you and your daughter will get from the When Girls Hurt Girls® guide, you might worry it’s a thick, complicated textbook that’ll take you a semester to digest.

Not at all…

Your Daughter Can Start Applying the
When Girls Hurt Girls
® Strategies the Very Next Day

Just scan the table of contents for the specific types of Relational Aggression your daughter is going through and flip to the sections that you need the most.

For each of the 16 Friendship Weapons™ covered in the guide, you’ll find details about what the bully says and why, what makes the Friendship Weapon™ so hurtful and how to take its power away.

Each section then goes on to give several direct quotes of what you can say to your daughter about the situation and offers a list of appropriate actions for your daughter to choose from.

You and your daughter will brainstorm, strategize and role-play together, and then she’ll decide which response feels best to her.

The next day, your daughter will apply what she practiced and will report back to you what happened. The problem may or may not be resolved on the first try. But, every time she tries a new response, her confidence and personal power will grow and she’ll be one step closer to enjoying drama-free friendships.

We know the strategies in When Girls Hurt Girls® work because we’ve seen them allow our own daughters and hundreds of other girls to break free of painful situations and focus on building strong, positive friendships.

And we’ve received many heartfelt thanks from parents like you who couldn’t stand to see their daugher hurt another day.


Order Now
Order Now






Give Your Daughter Priceless Confidence
and Peace of Mind for Only $87

Winner of The National Parenting Center's 2011 Seal of ApprovalYour When Girls Hurt Girls® Parent Pack includes the Parent Guide: 13 Effective Ways to Guide Your Daughter Through Hurtful Friendships (7 ways for grades K – 2) and the Girl Guide: 13 Effective Ways to Solve Hurtful Friendships (7 ways for grades K – 2).

Both are stuffed with relevant information and immediate solutions for your daughter to feel better, including:

  • The 3 roles of Relational Aggression girls play and tools for your daughter to recognize how she’s contributing to the situation and how to get out of it.
  • 12 solid strategies (grades 3 – 8) and 6 solid strategies (grades K - 2) for your daughter to use when she is on the receiving end of hurtful friendship behaviors. (Not all strategies are appropriate for every situation…so the guide will also tell you which strategies to use when.)
  • Age-specific Friendship Weapons™ that girls use to bully other girls. Your daughter will learn how to recognize each Friendship Weapon™ and how to take away its power.
  • The 3 vital components that must be present in order to solve a friendship problem.
  • What an I-Message is and how your daughter can use it to take responsibility for her feelings and ask for what she wants without blaming the bully (so the situation doesn’t escalate).
  • How, when and to what extent you should involve yourself in your daughter’s situation. For example, in most cases we recommend that you DON’T call the bully’s parent.
  • Worksheets for capturing your daughter’s planned response to the situation, as well as the actual results and lessons learned for the next time she’s faced with a similar situation.
  • 8 types of Relational Aggression Bystanders and why being a Peacekeeper may not be the best approach to advocate for your daughter.

We’re certain you’ll find the answers you need in When Girls Hurt Girls® and we don’t want anything to stop you from helping your daughter find her way through a painful friendship.

So there’s absolutely no risk to you, we’re offering…

Our “100% No Quibble, No Deadline Guarantee”

Every penny you invest in this effective program is safely backed by our reliable "100% No quibble, No Deadline Guarantee."

We guarantee that after reading the materials in this program, you and your daughter will have specific strategies for resolving the hurtful friendship situation she’s facing.

But, if for some reason, the When Girls Hurt Girls® program doesn't live up to your expectations, simply tell us and we’ll refund your purchase out of our own pockets. You have our word on it!

“The tools were easy to follow, practical, and easy to replicate at a later time.  As a result, my daughter has built confidence in learning how to deal with these situations and can talk to me in a language that makes it easier for me to listen and help if necessary.”

- Beth Knudson, Asst Director
International Internships and Education
University of Iowa, College of Business

“ I thought it was good because it helps me think about what I can do to be a good friend. I really enjoyed the role playing exercises.”

- Lauren, Daughter


Order Now
Order Now





What You’ll Get


Parent Guide: Effective Ways to Guide Your Daughter Through Hurtful Friendships

Over 80 pages long, this spiral-bound book contains the complete When Girls Hurt Girls® program. Provides insight on why girls use Relational Aggression, the difference between victims and targets, 12 solid strategies for grades 3 – 8 (6 strategies for grades K – 2) in a recipe-like format, words to use for each of the 16 Friendship Weapons™, and guidance on handling 8 types of Bystanders.



Girl Guide: Effective Ways to Solve Hurtful Friendships

A 50+ page, spiral-bound book with explanations, tips, and examples written in “girl language.”



Friendship Weapon™ Planning Worksheet

An effective tool to help your daughter plan what she’ll say or do and then to help her evaluate how it went and what she’ll do next. You can make as many copies as you need.  


Plus This Bonus You’ll Want to Get Your Hands On ASAP



Feeling Finder Chart

Graphics and names of the 20 most common Relational Aggression emotions. Help your daughter identify and develop vocabulary for her feelings. This chart will help her build emotional intelligence.

Valued at $9

***Special Role Play CD Add-on***

For $19 you’ll receive a CD of 23 Girl Role Plays to Help Girls Solve Hurtful Friendships and printed " Tips for Listening to Audio Role Plays"

These role plays, performed in a recording of girls, include:

  • How to use I-Messages in response to 16 Friendship Weapons™ like gossip, lying, manipulation, and threats.
  • How to become a Positive Active Bystander™ from 7 unique Bystander types. These role plays offer skills that your daughter will carry with her for the rest of her life.

Listening to other girls using the When Girls Hurt Girls® strategies will give your daughter more confidence to go to school tomorrow and try out the strategies for herself.

Prepare Your Daughter for the
Inevitable Relationship Challenges Her Life Will Bring

Relational Aggression peaks in grades 6-8. But the risk of your daughter encountering difficult people certainly doesn’t end when she enters high school.

By teaching her now how to address Relational Aggression situations, you’ll give her the tools to successfully navigate challenging relationships for the rest of her life.

And you’ll turn her tears into smiles.

Order Now
Order Now






Wishing you and your daughter peace and confidence,

A Way Through, LLC
The Female Friendship Experts

Email: CustomerSupport@AWayThrough.com
Phone: 319-621-6381

P.S. Research shows a growing emphasis on kids’ friendships as an indicator of how successful and happy they’ll be in life. When Girls Hurt Girls® is great for helping your daughter to discover she holds the power to attract positive friendships.

P.P.S. We can’t wait for you to see the difference When Girls Hurt Girls® makes in strengthening your relationship with your daughter and giving her the confidence she needs to fix or move on from a painful friendship. Remember…our “100% No Quibble, No Deadline Guarantee” means you risk nothing by ordering today.

Order Now
Order Now











“My daughter had been on the receiving and giving end of RA.  As a child I also experienced RA and therefore, I wanted to do something proactive to assist her in dealing with the very difficult issues girls face. 

Blair's and Jane's program was a wonderful forum for my daughter and me to talk about and share our experiences.  It helped her identify RA issues and gave her choices and tools to use.

I think as a result of this program, she is much more confident and has built many healthy relationships. The strategies that were discussed in the program were helpful for women of all ages in any environment from work to school.”

Shelly Mott, Attorney
Coralville, Iowa



Home for Parents | Home for Educators | Home for Group Leaders
Request Free Mini Audio Workshop | Products & Services| Speaking | About Us

Success Stories | Media | Contact Us | Blog/Article Archives

©2009-2011 A Way Through, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

A Way Through, LLC | 622 Pine Ridge Road | Coralville, IA 52241

(319) 621-6381 | customersupport@awaythrough.com